Am I That Stupid - Kim HeeChul

 AM I THAT STUPID - Kim HeeChul

Review by Pararae

Title - 3/5

Your title suit the plot but, I took away 2 marks because

1.       It is not interesting.

2.       It’s cliché. I have seen the exact title on a few stories I have read before, and it’s not getting better. S, try to find another phrase or quote to fit the title to make it more eye-catching.

 

Appearance - 3/5 

I like the color of your title, but I had to take away a couple of marks because there was no poster and background. Your story looked plain, unattractive, but the color of the font somehow brought a simple radiation to it. So, I would say, it is not so bad, but if you have a poster and background, I could have imagined it would look much better.

Forewords - 7/10

Your foreword is somewhat simple. The only thing that lengthened your foreword is the list of stories that you have written. So I have to take away 3 marks because…

    1.   The summary is too short. You could manipulate the summary by writing a poem, using quotes or phrases, or simply elaborate a meaningful metaphor to reflect the meaning of your story. Even though you only wrote 5 chapters, but it doesn’t mean the summary has to be too simple.

2.       If I have to close my eyes on the story list, I would say your foreword is quite dull. I have seen an interesting, short foreword, but yours is too…dull. Try to be more creative in your forewords, develop a skill to brighten it because the forewords are one of the first impressions a reader gets before jumping to your first chapter, so, pay attention to it next time. It could attract or repel someone from reading your story.

 

Storyline - 14/15

You have a great storyline. I like it a lot. Love stories are so overrated but I can say that I enjoyed your story, which is means something, because I'm not usually keen on reading love stories. I like how you start the story from the middle of their relationship instead of the beginning because writers usually lose tracs when they are writing too many chapters. But I can see that there is a jumpy scene. Taemin and Minho just met by accident, but I remember Taemin said Minho was his stalker for years. So, I don’t see where this connects. Minho just appeared in Taemin’s life for the first time (and was never mention in the first few chapters of the story about Minho stalking Taemin for years) and he had already crawled into his bed and raped him and was accused as being a stalker for years? Try to look into this, you might miss something. Or did I?

Story Flow - 13/15

The flow of the story was going quite well, until around the third chapter where Minho came into the picture. The flow started to run off until the end of the chapter. So try to elaborate more, make sure you use the ‘show not tell’ method to prove any claims in your story such as Minho being the stalker, and Jinki having an affair with someone else rather than Kibum.

Character Development - 12/15

All the characters has been characterized well enough, but Minho is still a question. He is not so important but it’s very crucial to give more insight on him and explain his role as the stalker, rapist and a doctor/psychologist. After all, he plays quite a part in this story. And I would like to know more about Jinki’s affair. I know he should be in the shadow but try to make his existence known in a manipulative way so it wouldn’t be too obvious or too ambiguous.  

Descriptions - 8/10

Well, I wouldn’t say you gave a wonderful description because your story is not so still, like most angst or dramatic stories, but I would say you gave a sufficient amount of it to make your story less like a fairytale. Just try to describe the settings and characters more, you will be alright.

Spelling/Grammar - 4/5

You don’t really have any problema with the spelling and grammar, but I realizes you always forget to put  correct punctuation marks at the right place. So, try to revise or reread our story again because you can spot it quite easily.

Captivating - 9/10

I find your story very interesting despite a jumpy scene and the less develop characteristics of Minho. But while I was enjoying the story, the questions about Minho disturbed my reading, so I had to take away a mark for that.

Ending - 3/5

The ending was good, but quite rushed. Try to extend the timeframe between the ending and Taemin’s statement about Minho and try to elaborate more on Heechul’s role in the ending so it could give a good standing to it.   

Bonus Points - 3/5

I gave you bonus points because…

1.       You wrote an amazing story.

2.       Your grammar and spelling is great!

3.       My apologies for finishing this review late because lately, I've been too busy with my job.  

 

FINAL SCORE: 79/100

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Review done by Pararae from Eternal Happiness 

[www.eternalhappiness-ww.blogspot.com]